Leaving determinedly
by Cherryoncake
Summary: You look at the girl in front of you. You don't know if you'll see her again, and at that very moment, a part of you selfishly hopes she'll be a part of your future. "Sakura...Thank you." Sasusaku. Oneshot. Chapter 181.


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

**A/N:** And here goes nothing.

* * *

You walk towards the village gates, past the training grounds, past Naruto's apartment, past the academy you graduated from. The crescent moon, half-covered by clouds, shines upon everything you're going to leave behind, dying them pale silver. A fitting night to leave the village, you decide.

You take each and every step decisively, your hands shoved in your pockets. You've hardened your resolve to gain power, to shed off your weak, pathetic self. Only then can you hope to kill your dreaded brother and avenge your clan. This village can offer you nothing. It only distracts and strays you from your goal.

The world is dead silent except for your determined steps. _Tak. Tak. Tak._

You don't expect to bump into anyone. Yet there she is, standing in your way, wearing that apprehensive expression that appears whenever she's worried about you. She looks at you, taking in your bare forehead, where your hitai-ate should be, and your backpack, where your personal belongings should not be. You watch her emerald eyes widen in realization and sorrow.

You will yourself to keep walking, but your feet betray you and you stop, a few meters away from her.

"Why are you prowling around here in the middle of the night?" You blurt out the words against your better judgement; you really shouldn't have spoken, you should've continued walking instead.

"I knew you'd come this way if you were to leave…so I just waited here…"

"Get out of here and go back to sleep." It's harsh enough. She should realize she isn't capable of changing anything. She shouldn't have come. Now she just serves as an obstacle, blocking your path to power. An obstacle you're going to overcome with ease.

You walk past her coldly._ Tak. Tak. Tak. _With every step you take, you feel you're distancing yourself from her. You feel you're severing everything you have with her. She'll grow to forget you, and you'll grow to forget her. You convince yourself that you won't mind.

Nevertheless, the sounds of your footsteps seem to magnify themselves, penetrating the thick silence like foghorns in the mist, and suddenly, your footsteps don't seem as determined anymore. They sound empty. Empty like the Uchiha district. Empty like _you_.

"Why won't you say anything to me? Why do you always keep so quiet? You never say a single word to me…" Her voice wavers. She's crying.

"I told you: I don't need your help. Don't try to look after me." You stop, but you don't face her. You turn your back to her miserable eyes, the very same pair of eyes that have shone with admiration for you, and happiness that should be long gone from the eyes of a shinobi. Now they leak tears for your leaving. You don't want to face her. You can't.

There's a pregnant pause which seems to suck up all the substances in the air, leaving only tension, stretched like a tightrope. Leaves rustle uncomfortably in the wind, dappling the stone path with moving shadows. Apart from that, everything is still, as if in anticipation for something.

"No matter what, you just always hate me, don't you…" _Wrong._ "You remember, don't you?"

You award her with your silence.

"When we became genins, the day when our three-man team was first decided…The first time we were here by ourselves, you were so mad at me."

You recall a memory lurking in the corners of your mind, its importance dampened by other memories that pile on top of it. You remember standing right here with her, when she truly is nothing but an annoying girl. You remember getting angry at her, because she insulted Naruto, and in a way, you. You remember detesting her for her ignorance of how painful it is to grow up lonely and orphaned.

You also remember how much she's changed and matured, from a brat to a teammate you can care for. Someone who, you grudgingly admit, is precious to you, someone you'll protect with your life. Someone who's broken into your moated fortress of a heart and has earned herself a place in it.

"I don't remember that." You lie through your teeth. Perhaps, you think, it's better for her to consider you a cold-hearted bastard that only resides in her childhood and is, unfortunately for her, in her genin team. A cold-hearted bastard who, she'll embarrassingly admit, she used to be smitten with, believing him to be her knight in shining armour, the Romeo to her Juliet. You know you are neither.

"Haha…Yeah, I guess you're right…That's all in the past, huh?" She laughs, a poor attempt to cover her hurt. It lingers in the air, shrill and fake. You don't like it, but you say nothing.

"That's when it all began though. You and me, along with Naruto and Kakashi-sensei…We did all sorts of missions, just the four of us. It was painful and difficult at times. Even with that though, I still enjoyed it."

You can sense her smile in her words. Unlike you, she can actually smile as though nothing in life troubles her. Even if you don't want to admit it, you enjoyed those times too. They are good memories. Memories that should be left behind, put away, forgotten, because they remind you of what you're giving up for your goal, and every time you think about it, your determination wavers, if only for a little bit. You know you could've been happy. You could've been with that pervert, that idiot, and her. You could've stayed and grow up with them together, and have a_ family_ other than the one that's buried deep, deep underground.

"I know all about your past Sasuke-kun. Even if you get your revenge, it won't bring anyone happiness. Not even you, Sasuke-kun, nor me…"

You realize her words are getting to you and softening your resolve. Just as she's broken through your icy demeanour and befriended you, she's slowly destroying your front. Tch. Annoying girl.

"I already know." Before you even realize it, you find yourself explaining to her. You hope that she'll understand and let you _go_. "I'm different from you all. I can't be following the same path as you guys. Up until now, we've done everything as a group, but there is something else I must do. Deep inside my heart, I've already decided on revenge. For that reason only, do I live…"

"I'll never be like you or Naruto." This time, your words are true.

"Do you really want to go back to being alone? You told me how painful it was to be alone! Right now, I know what you're feeling! I may have friends and family, but if you were to leave…To me…To me, _I would be just as alone as you_…"

You hear her cries, her anguish and you can't help but frown. Had you been a better guy, you would've turned around, comforted her and assured her that everything would be fine. You would've stopped your attempt to leave and stay with her, if only to prevent her from drowning in the same loneliness as you.

But you're not. You're the cold-hearted bastard that flung her plate of apples to the floor, the bastard that told her to stay out of your business even when she's crying and worried sick for you. The bastard that's gradually softening up to her but _can__'__t_.

"From here on out, we all begin new paths—"

"I…I love you with all my heart!" She cries with desperation. You stiffen.

"If you were to stay with me, there would be no regrets…Every day, we'd do something fun, we'd be happy…I swear! I would do anything for you! So…please, just stay with me…"

"…"

"I'll even help with your revenge! I don't know what I could do…but I'll try my best to do something…" She sniffs, and her sobs wrack her small frame. She approaches you in her most vulnerable state, shivering and crying. You, as usual, are breaking her heart, letting the fragments fall to the ground piece by piece right in front of her.

"So please…stay with me…Or take me with you if you can't stay here…" You listen to her cry. You've always thought you're emotionally hardened — a shinobi must never show his emotions, but every time a sob escapes her, it feels as though she's pulling on your heart strings and isn't letting go.

She's done so much for you, even though you're broken and cold and everything opposite of what she once imagined you to be. You're not her perfect Sasuke-kun, and yet she still offers her love and care, unafraid to plunge into darkness headfirst with you.

For the first time, you turn around to face her. You see her distraught appearance, tears falling and wetting the stone path, head lowered as she experiences the pain of losing someone precious. You'd wished the sight of her crying weren't the last memory she left you with.

"You really are annoying." You smirk, knowing that she'll recognize it, and what lies underneath the comment. You see her head snap up, eyes widened, and fresh tears flow down from the corners of her eyes. You remember, and you're being gentle with her, but you must go now.

You tear your gaze away from her, lest your eyes linger for too long and make you stay. You turn around and walk away, just like the many other times when you reject her help. You hear her gasp.

"Don't leave! If you do I'll scream—"

That you can't allow. You get behind her with your speed, catching her by surprise. You look at the girl in front of you. You don't know if you'll see her again, and at that very moment, a part of you selfishly hopes she'll be a part of your future.

"Sakura…"

The person who'll die for you, and almost did.

The person who makes you feel loved.

The person who casts away your loneliness.

The person who needs you to the very last.

"Thank you."


End file.
